


can i get a kiss? can you make it last forever?

by Shuichis_Ahoge



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Grief/Mourning, I have no idea, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Moving On, Not Canon Compliant, i again dont know where or what timeline this is taking place, i dont know whats going on either, its one of those really angsty ones that you have no idea whats going on, its really rushed it was kind of a vent lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:49:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28519674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shuichis_Ahoge/pseuds/Shuichis_Ahoge
Summary: part one of i wrote a word and it progressively got more confusing as i wentangst ed.LOTS OF TWS. this was a rant i have no idea what this is honestly
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 4





	can i get a kiss? can you make it last forever?

Dave draped his arms around Karkat's waist, resting his chin on the shorter's shoulder and pressing his lips to his neck before his eyes wrenched open at the sight in the mirror. "KK, your arms..." 

Karkat rolled down his sleeves, brushing his hands over his lower arms lightly, a tear slipping unceremoniously down his face. "I'm sorry..." 

"You'v--" 

"N-No... I don't want your... f-fucking pity." 

"Hey, I was just saying there's nothing for you to be sorry for." 

"That's fucking b-bullshit." 

"If anything I should be the one apologizing." 

He didn't respond. 

"You were in a bad place, I wasn't there for you. That's my fault, and you hurt yourself because of it. And," He swallowed down a tear himself, he didn't want to break down in front of his boyfriend, but he caused this, "I feel like shit for it." 

"D-don't... cry." 

"How could I not? What kind of boyfriend am I that I couldn't be there for you when you needed me most?" 

"It wasn't your fault." 

"But now you're in pain..." 

Karkat placed his hand on Dave's cheek, turning and resting their foreheads together. "I-I'm apologizing because I hurt myself, and that hurt y-you." 

"But I was the reason you hurt yourself." 

Karkat sighed. 

"This is... getting out of hand. Please, wake up." 

"...W-What?" 

"You know what I mean, Karkat..." 

Another flood of tears intruded his face. "I don't want to." 

"This isn't healthy." 

"I-I don't care." 

"I'm not the real me." 

He knew.

Yet, he found himself screaming. 

Or, attempting to. 

At least internally. 

But his jaw snapped open as if he were to make it audible, to possibly let out some of his despair. 

But the sound wouldn't manage. 

His eyes opened again. 

Dave's arms we're around his waist. 

He was sitting atop of the dryer. 

Ah, this one's always nice. 

"Karkat?" 

He smiled, tears not stopping, but as always, not affecting the reality. "Yeah?" 

"This is kind of awkward for me to say, but..." 

"Dave." 

"Huh-?" 

"I love you, too." 

Suddenly his face saddened. "I know you do but...you need to...wake up, Karkat. I'm serious." 

"N- ...No." 

"Please..." 

"N-Not this one, too..." 

"For me, man. You have to." 

"I-I can't, Dave..." 

Strider closed his eyes. 

And lifted one hand from Karkat's hips. 

Before a knife collided with the troll's back. 

Another scream erupted from his body. Involuntarily, and pained. 

This one made noise, but it sounded like it were far off in the distance. 

The sound hadn't come from him. 

It sounded familiar. 

A wave of horror spread through his body. 

But his eyes opened again. 

Morphing everything once again. 

Into a horrible, horrible nightmare. 

One that he couldn't escape. 

One of the worst parts was these normally played out in a calming and gentle and happy way. 

That was not the case now. 

And it never would be again. 

This time he was afraid. 

This was that night. 

His arms wrapped around Dave, both awake, in what was remembered to be a pleasant silence. 

Until, this time, Dave spoke wearily. 

"Will you now?" 

"...I-I don't know." 

"You must know how much... it hurts." 

"I do..." 

"Please don't make me do it again." 

"I don't... I can't just... leave you." 

"Karkat," He paused, presumably waiting for a response, before continuing without one, "You already have." 

His tears stung at this point. It felt as if he was running out of tears left to cry. 

"You have to let go." 

"Just... Dave..." 

"...Yeah?" 

"Can I... have one last--" 

"...Of course." Dave flipped around to face his lover, shades off, eyes pained and red from tears. 

He slowly pressed his lip's to the other's. 

Karkat's eyes fell closed once more. 

The last thing he felt was Dave mouthing a quick, 'I'm sorry,' against his lips. 

He shouldn't've had to be sorry. 

Neither should Karkat. 

But alas, 

Nothing stops time from turning. 

Just as nothing stops life from hurting. 

But when he opened them? 

He was alone. In the present. 

No longer dreaming. 

And he felt free. 

He looked to his left, beside the bed he used to share with his matesprit. 

There he was. His picture. Framed on the bedside table. 

He'd been gone for almost a year by now. 

As much as it pained him, 

Karkat let go.


End file.
